Who Am I If Nobody is Looking?

Monologue: Who Am I if Nobody is Looking?

[she] walks towards a bench in the park and sits down, head in palm. A sigh is let out before she begins speaking.

Who am I if nobody is looking? Sometimes it feels as if I am someone completely different. Like if I were to look into a mirror, the face staring back at me would be a shell of who I truly am. It doesn’t make sense. The most comfort I feel is alone, yet all I sense is a stranger now. I sit here and can’t help but think; what makes me, me? Is it my long blonde hair or big blue eyes? Is it the clothes I wear or the smile I show?

[she] leans back into the bench, pondering for a moment.

Or perhaps it’s my personality. How I feel, how I think, how I act. Maybe my endearing sense of humour or constant snarky remarks. Maybe my overbearing need to care for others, despite my own life being uncared for. Maybe it’s a combination of everything. But that’s the truth, I really don’t know. I know just as much as I can predict the events of tomorrow. Or the day after that. Sometimes thinking so deeply is treacherous in its own way. It results in overthinking and concern beyond belief. It is anxiety-inducing, for sure. But all of that is who I am. It forms every crevice and crumb that makes up my mind. It makes up how I am presented to others. It is the reason that I am loved for who I am.

[she] stands up, with a much stronger sense of confidence this time before beginning to speak again.

So who am I if nobody is looking? I am me. I am someone who explores life to all its ends, someone who strives for purpose and meaning. Whether I am surrounded by people or must journey alone, I will always be me.